When you meet a stranger and start a conversation you need to build trust as quickly as you can. Here a five proven ways to quickly create empathy and build trust.

Tell them some things about yourself

It’s called ’self-disclosure’ and they could be things like the type of music you listen to, whether you’ve got a pet, and so on. The best way is to tell them stories and experiences that imply what sort of person you are. Just be careful that you’re not seen as bragging about yourself.

Share a small secret

It doesn’t have to be big or embarrassing. But telling them a secret about yourself will send them a signal that you trust them.

Drop hints and sow seeds on the things you want to do or have already planned. Watch and listen to their reaction and use it to determine their hot buttons.

Show them you understand how they feel

Give them empathetic responses to their statements and stories. Say things like “wow, you must have been so excited”; “that sounds fantastic”; “that’s a rotten thing to have happened to you” and so on.

Add a third dimension

As well as looking at them and listening, touch them very lightly and casually on their arm between their shoulder and elbow. Use your finger pads, not your finger tips. Notice if they touch you - we normally touch people we trust and shy away from people we don’t like.