Last Sunday was national kissing day and I did a slot on BBC Radio Oxford talking about how most women will gauge a man’s potential from their first kiss. When the male presenter asked me how to captivate someone with the first kiss, I said ‘with the breath kisss’. It’s the kiss for guys who tend to rush into things, but a woman can use it too.

The idea is to build the sexual tension by taking it slow, but with purpose and tenderness. Move in very slowly to kiss her on the mouth. When you get about two or three centremetres from her lips, pause. Breathe slowly though your mouth as though you were tasting each other’s breath. Count to at least seven before you slowly move nearer and touch her lips with yours. Then just run the tip of your tongue along her lips and wait for them to part. At that point do not deep throat her, but play with her tongue with the tip of yours, nibble or suck her lower lip.

If you’ve done it properly, she should moan.

Some women fall for bad men, some men fall under the spell of a bad woman. Just ask yourself these questions before you get in too deep.

• Have you listened to your gut instinct…first impressions are more than often right.
• Are they playing on your vulnerabilities…do you know what they are.
• Do you feel that you are being told what you want to hear.
• Are you rushing yourself along, or being rushed along.
• Does it all sound too good to be true.

Did you see the survey of 1,000 women last week on kissing? It was part of the launch of a sensuous new chocolate called Mistletoe Kisses from Galaxy.

86% of women remember their first kiss and many even remember the name of the guy. In fact most women measure you up on the first kiss. If you’re no good, they will go no further.

54% of the women described themselves as slow and loving kissers.

23% said they were full-on and passionate kissers.

10% said they like to tease when they kiss and

5% like to explore.

What sort of kisser are you?

I was asked a strange question the other day… “I keep being told of mythic statistic that claims that after a certain age you will already know (or have in your phonebook) the person you will fall in love with.”

That made me think!

My answer was… “I’ve not heard that one, and I’m not sure they’re already in your phonebook. But I do know you fall in love with a certain type of person - whether it’s their personality, interests, attitude or birth sign. And when you get to a certain age (45ish) you can instantly recognise them.”

So what’s a good idea for a first date?

The cinema - an action film or a chick flick, what a dilemma. Or dinner where you might be stuck with an impossible bore for an hour os so.

The best choice is to meet for a drink in the early evening. Then if you really hit it off, suggest you go on for a meal there and then. Being spontaneous is good. And you could always pretend that you were going to meet your mates, and call them to cancel - or is that being wicked?

On 21 & 22 April I’m running a weekend workshop in Nottingham. It’s called “How to Find, Attract & Keep Your One” where you’ll discover the secrets of finding a perfect partner.

You’ll learn where and how to meet your soulmate. How to approach them and look confident and relaxed. How to make small talk, and sound like the interesting person you are. How to flirt and use your body language to make people feel comfortable. And finally, you’ll learn the secrets of seduction.

Life’s too short to miss out. So for details and to book go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/weekend/

For all those hoping for a kiss under the mistletoe, here is a wonderful Christmas gift. Buy one of those small boxes of chocolates with only two or three in it. Don’t wrap it, just hand it over to your ‘intended’ with the words “Eat these in bed tonight and think of me”.

To learn more about the art of seduction and how to use it to your advantage, come along to one of the dating Doctor’s workshops. For more details on a weekend workshop that’s just in time for Valentine’s day, visit www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/weekend