Saturday August 14th is the next opportunity for you to learn how to talk to strangers in London. The Flirting Safari is a unique experience where you can develop and practise your chat-up skills. You will be with a handful of people who, under my guidance, will discover how to approach and talk to complete strangers in city centre shops.

There are only two places left for this event. So go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/news/events to find out more and book your place.

Hope to see you there.

Peter Spalton, aka The Dating Doctor

I’m runing four more workshops in London and Birmgham in May. And two of them fall on a weekend…the Flirting Safari in London on Saturday 15 May and a Dating Masterclass in Birmingham on Sunday 23 May.

The Flirting Safari is a unique experience to develop and practice your chat-up skills. You will be with a handful of people who, under my guidance, will practice how to approach and talk to complete strangers in city centre shops and bars. For more information and to book go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/news/events/

The Dating Masterclass is a practical dating workshop that’ll have a big impact on your dating results. Whether you’re just still looking or back on the dating scene after a break up, this one-day workshop will give you some new ideas and impetus to move forward. For more information and to reserve your place www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/news/events/

And if you to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/news/events/ you’ll see a full list of my workshops.

Hope to see you soon.

Peter
aka The Dating Doctor

The Flirting Safari is a unique experience to develop and practice your chat-up skills. You will be with a handful of people who, under my guidance, will practice how to approach and talk to complete strangers in city centre shops and bars.

We meet at 11:30am in the city centre with a coffee and briefing. I will give you some tips on how to approach and talk to strangers and after about half an hour we will hit the streets. You will ‘work’ the shops for a couple of hours with my personal coaching and feedback. We will finish with a drink and debrief in a local bar. You are then free to shop and practice at your leisure.

The next one is in London on Saturday 30th January.

For more information, and to book, go to
www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/news/events/

I thought that I’d jot down the topics that people are perfectly happy to talk about when you first meet them. Whether it’s in the shops or on a date.

When you meet someone on the street, in the shops or at a party they are happy to chat about five things…

• what they are doing at that moment
• why they are there
• whereabouts they live
• holidays and interests
• what’s going on around you (the weather, crowds etc)

When you’re on a date they will also talk about…

• what they do for work
• the area in which they live and their home
• their taste in music, films, food, etc
• their views on what’s going on in the world
• their dreams and aspirations

You also need to phrase the questions so they’re easy for them to answer. Things like…

• what sort of things do you like doing on holiday?
• what was the last CD or download that you bought?
• what was the last film that you went to see?
• if you rent a DVD which section do you look in?
• what did you do last weekend?

Conversation can be quite hard with people that you don’t know very well. But it can also be fun. The way to learn and improve is to practice. So try and develop a habit of chatting to everyone you meet – shop assistants, waiters, people behind you in the bus/train queue, and so on.

A unique experience to develop and practise your chat-up skills in central London on Saturday 15 August. You will be with a handful of people who, under the guidance of the Dating Doctor, will practice how to approach and talk to complete strangers in city centre shops.

We will meet at 11:30am with a coffee and briefing from the Dating Doctor. He will give you some tips on how to approach and talk to strangers and after about half an hour you will hit the streets. You will ‘work’ the shops in Oxford Street for a couple of hours with personal coaching from the Dating Doctor. You finish with a drink and debrief in a local bar. You are then free to shop and practise at your leisure.

The price for this unique street workshop is £40 with £15 cash back on the day if you book two places. Places are strictly limited to five people maximum so each person gets some individual coaching.

• What you say is not as important as how you look and how you sound. You must come across as confident, relaxed & friendly.
• “The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we can never give enough of is love.” Henry Miller
• Have no expectations so you can shrug off the fear of rejection.
• Read their body language when you chat to them so you get a feel for what they think of you.
• Switch off your iPod when you’re out and walk with an open and friendly posture. You’ll be surprised what happens.
• If you chatup two people together, treat them the same and let them decide.
• There’s a pick-up agenda in clubs & bars. This doesn’t happen when you chatup strangers in shops, airports & art galleries.
• “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss
• Most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within five minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing.
• When you flirt by laughing at silly things together and make sure you touch them on the upper arm at the same time.

Last month I appeared on the Trisha Goddard’s TV show on Channel Five. You can see my five tips to capture a woman or man at http://www.trishatv.com/view.asp?id=571

Enjoy!!

When you meet a stranger and start a conversation you need to build trust as quickly as you can. Here a five proven ways to quickly create empathy and build trust.

Tell them some things about yourself

It’s called ‘self-disclosure’ and they could be things like the type of music you listen to, whether you’ve got a pet, and so on. The best way is to tell them stories and experiences that imply what sort of person you are. Just be careful that you’re not seen as bragging about yourself.

Share a small secret

It doesn’t have to be big or embarrassing. But telling them a secret about yourself will send them a signal that you trust them.

Drop hints and sow seeds on the things you want to do or have already planned. Watch and listen to their reaction and use it to determine their hot buttons.

Show them you understand how they feel

Give them empathetic responses to their statements and stories. Say things like “wow, you must have been so excited”; “that sounds fantastic”; “that’s a rotten thing to have happened to you” and so on.

Add a third dimension

As well as looking at them and listening, touch them very lightly and casually on their arm between their shoulder and elbow. Use your finger pads, not your finger tips. Notice if they touch you – we normally touch people we trust and shy away from people we don’t like.

A couple of weeks ago I did a three-hour stint on Graham Torrington’s late night radio show.

Interestingly, the most common question was “how do I get back onto the dating scene after a failed relationship?” Well I think that there are five steps and I’ve written a short article that talks about each one.

It’s in the tips section on my website, or you can just click here.

Here are my five tops tips to make you a super star at small talk…

• Practise small talk with people you meet in everyday situations such as shop assistants, waiters and strangers on the bus and train.
• Read a lot and watch the news so you have something to say about what’s happening in the world.
• Do it where you feel more comfortable. You might find it easier to talk to strangers in a bookshop or coffee shop than a club or bar.
• Don’t drink to help you relax and loosen up. It will only make you seem dippy.
• Don’t take rejection personally. You can’t expect to hit it off with everyone.

Email me if you want to know more about improving your social skills.